WANTED: THREE CULPRITS, MILDLY CUTE
We’ve recently received reports on missing items ranging from retainers, erasers, grapes, necklaces, and other miscellaneous items.
After extensive research, we’d like to initiate a bounty on three young bandits: Albert, Scrumpy, and Harmony.
We’ve provided brief profiles of each suspected criminal.
Albert: Domestic longhair. Base white coat with symmetrical gray patterns. Chunky, large build. 8 pounds. Cute and fluffy. Is very loud. Can be manipulated through cuddles.
Scrumpy: Domestic longhair. Base black coat with white accents; tuxedo pattern. Skinny, small build. 8 pounds. Friendly to the point its annoying. Likes to lick anyone at anytime, anywhere.
Harmony: Domestic shorthair. Base white coat with black splotches. Very petite, small build. 6 pounds. Very extroverted and not much common sense. Loves face and belly rubs.
If found, please send in photos of these culprits for mental health reasons and for verification.
If you notice three small (cute) figures scurrying away after a presence of fruit, stationery, and jewelry, please contact the Whisker Sheriff Department.
Our local police officers (the renowned Meowsketeers) are on this dire case. They are open for questions (they may request individual payment for inquiry/personality reasons).
Officer Mochi: Must follow around for 2-3 days before conversation, has a very shy and avoiding personality. Gets the work done, but preferably alone. Will flee at the sight of potential rowdiness. Likes catnip on a concerning level. Joined 2019. Assigned to Scrumpy.
Officer Matcha: Grumpy 24/7. Do not approach. Will give you several warnings before taking action (given you bother him) and is the strongman of the Meowsketeers. Appreciates kibble and meat, but never turkey. He secretly indulges in his fellow officers, Mochi and Miruku. Joined 2020. Assigned to Albert.
Officer Miruku: Extremely friendly, extroverted, and clingy. Will answer your questions, but also go off on a tangent about random topics. Is sharp on her feet, and is known as a hero to the Whisker community. Has fended off many dog attacks, protecting the young children and inspiring them to be independent and bold. Enjoys a good napping environment, as well as frequently slapping her fellow comrades. Joined 2022. Assigned to Harmony.
Remember to keep your small, chewable, or string-like items away from common eyesight!
This article was written by the Whisker Sheriff Department. We strive to keep our community healthy, safe, and happy.
